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UNCLASSIFIED

by Barbara Delarbre

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1.
Rain.. rain.. rain. Sky is dark at three o’clock, It’s wet today, wet today And the road is red and green and amber All the way, all the way. City chokes and smokes a hoax She likes to play, likes to play. Did we ever really start to End this way, end this way? Flashback to where I travelled so sure, I boldly would go where, boldly, I never went before But Kirk wasn’t beaming me where I wanted to be And Janeway, she never cared for me. Oh, Scottie, my warp drive’s gone, I don’t have enough dilithium crystals to go on. Send for the Doctor. Doctor! Who? He vanished in the Tardis long ago. Can this be true? Sky is dark at three o’clock, It’s wet today, wet today And the road is red and green and amber All the way, all the way. And I hardly know a single thing they want to Hear me say, hear me say, They swapped a heart in Exchange and Mart for Feet of clay, feet of clay. Dissolve to Arnie, never a doubt That he’ll wade right in there and he’ll pull you out. Wish. Dreamed of Rocky on the ropes today And thinking of Clint, well, what is there left for me to say? He never rode down my street, no, And as for Superman, where did he go? Along with Rambo, Indy, all the kung fu cops That won’t rescue us with their kung fu chops. No hai, hai, hai, hai. Sky is dark at three o’clock, It’s wet today, wet today And the road is red and green and amber All the way, all the way. Take a bow, Apocalypse Now Was yesterday, yesterday. If you believe it, you’re deceived, It’s on the way, on the way. Cut to Washington, we could try The men from U.N.C.L.E., Smithy or the F.B.I. N.A.S.A., send us anywhere we dream. Remember, in space, there’s nobody there to hear you scream. So dark, is this an X-File day? Mulder wouldn’t ask and Scully wouldn’t stay. Have I been looking in the wrong place, Running in the wrong race? Time to see the script of a brand new day. Sky is dark at three o’clock, It’s wet today, wet today And the road is red and green and amber All the way, all the way. Okay, so we may be gone tomorrow but we’re Here today, here today. Take our cue, it’s me and you, We’re on our way, on our way, on our way, on our way. Fade to black.
2.
I don't wanna fight, I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? I don’t wanna fight, I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? We could joke and kid around, Stay at home, paint the town, Talk and laugh away the night But no, we have to fight. I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? I don’t wanna fight, I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? We could dine away our woe, Alfresco on the patio, TV dinner, candlelight, But no, we have to fight. I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? I don’t wanna fight, I don’t wanna fight With you – Do you Want the two of us to fight? No gaming, no blaming, No lies or goodbyes. You look after me And I’ll look after you, Yes I will, now. No pride, don’t you hide away – Come on, be brave. Misunderstanding? We’ll talk it through – I’ll look after you. No gaming, no blaming, I don’t wanna fight, No lies or goodbyes. I don’t wanna fight You look after me With you - And I’ll look after you, Do you want the two of us to Yes I will, now. Fight? No pride, don’t you hide away – I don’t wanna fight, Come on, be brave. I don’t wanna fight, Misunderstanding? With you - We’ll talk it through – Do you want the two of us to I’ll look after you. Fight? Don’t, don’t, Don’t wanna fight with you, Don’t, don’t, Don’t wanna fight with you, Don’t, don’t, Don’t want the two of us to fight.
3.
Horror feature, You’re a swamp creature, You’re a mummy in the dead of night And not a soul can reach yer. You may materialise, Take human form for your disguise, It’s sad, but I can see by the look in your eyes – Says, “I’m gonna eat yer”. Run from the x-rate man, Run just as far and as fast as you can! Run from the x-rate man, Run just as far and as fast as you can! No conscience, no mercy, Only yourself to please. You could’ve been human once But now you’re a demon seed – A vampire sucking blood, Persuading ev’rybody You’re doing them good. Horror feature, You’re a swamp creature, You’re a mummy in the dead of night And not a soul can reach yer. You may materialise, Take human form for your disguise, It’s sad, but I can see by the look in your eyes – Says, “I’m gonna eat yer”. Run from the x-rate man, Run just as far and as fast as you can! Run from the x-rate man, Run just as far and as fast as you can! Got no silver bullet Nor stake from a holly tree. Wishin’ in vain that a cross and chain Really could protect me. I’ve got no garlic, got no game And the stars can’t set me free. The only way to fend you off, all told, Is a crucifix inside, give me a guide Where the dread bell tolls. I wanna keep my body And you won’t have my soul. Horror feature, You’re a swamp creature, You’re a mummy in the dead of night And not a soul can reach yer. You may materialise, Take human form for your disguise, It’s sad, but I can see by the look in your eyes – Says, “I’m gonna eat yer”. Gonna eat yer, Gonna eat yer, eat yer. I wanna keep my body And you’ll never have my soul.
4.
Irritated, irksome, tetchy, What gives you the right To be so irritated, irksome, tetchy, Ev’ry day and ev’ry night? You know I’ve tried to sympathise, Tried to understand, To make you laugh, To hold your hand But you’re irritated, irksome, tetchy and Just what gives you the right? Busy telling ev’rybody what they ought to do – It’s your way. Chuntering on – oh, I’ve done things wrong again – Well, okay. You don’t like me, I don’t like you. You only give when it suits you to. Ego be hanged, Mean-spirit games take two, And I’m through. Irritated, irksome, tetchy, What gives you the right To be so irritated, irksome, tetchy, Ev’ry day and ev’ry night? You know I’ve tried to sympathise, Tried to understand, To make you laugh, To hold your hand But you’re irritated, irksome, tetchy and Just what gives you the right? You want the world and its dog To humour you ev’ry day. Skulking around in a sulk – It’s how you get your own way. I’ve talked before To your locked door, Spent all my time averting outright war, What a baby you are – Indulgent, that’s for sure, And what’s more… You’re irritated, irksome, tetchy, What gives you the right To be so irritated, irksome, tetchy, Ev’ry day and ev’ry night? You know I’ve tried to sympathise, Tried to understand, To make you laugh, To hold your hand But you’re irritated, irksome, tetchy and Just what gives you the right?
5.
I’m out round and about the town With a window-shopping eye; So much to need, to want, to own, To dream of or to buy. Cash in my pocket burning a hole And the plastic melting down – Do I use the net, Do I pass or get, Shall I spend, spend Or go to ground? Another day, another week, And there’ll be more designer chic, How do I choose between the good and fine When the best one’s waiting down the line. Bigger, smarter, stronger, Best buy of its type, Lasting longer, How long? What’s the hype? Ergonomic and economy size – Gotta be discerning, Gotta be wise. Another day, another week, And there’ll be more designer chic, To lost is to choose between the matt and shine When the anti-static’s waiting down the line. …Guaranteed, insurance, It can talk to you. Whatever you want Is what it can do. Another day, another week, And there’ll be more designer chic, Buying it, using it and throwing it out, I’m dizzy on a deal-a-day roundabout. Predatory padding up and down On a hot consumer high. Assistants here, assistants there, Persuading me to buy. Co-ordinated colour, seasonal style And the tide for no man waits. But the kudos of cool Has an unwritten rule - The quicker you spend The sooner it dates. A day, another week, And there’ll be more designer chic, How do I choose between the good and fine When the best one’s waiting down the line?
6.
BODY IMAGE 04:53
I’m fatter than I’d like to be, My teeth are not as pearly as I’d like to see. Ears are jug on a moon-round mug - Straight, dark rug, that’s me - Individuality, individuality. Body image, body image, go variety! Body image, body image - seems okay to me. Is it just that what we’re not we wanna be? Present imperfect is not enough When it comes to rivalry – Ah, is it rivalry? Why I was made like a Lucien Freud I’ll never know. Too much acid or alkaloid? Metabolism too slow? Genetic overgrow? Ev’rybody’s got a good side people say. Two sides to a question, give me the better way. I may be round but, penny to a pound, My man found in me – Individuality, individuality. I’m not so skinny that I dig other people with my bones. Cheeks not shrunken enough so they look like an ancient crone’s. Wrinkles are character lines – I’m not an elephant. I really don’t want my skin stretched tight like a replicant, Oh no, not a replicant. Body image, body image, go variety! Body image, body image - seems okay to me. Is it just that what we’re not we wanna be? Present imperfect is not enough When it comes to rivalry – Ah, is it rivalry? Why I was made like a Lucien Freud I’ll never know. Too many cakes and biscuits to avoid, comes as a bitter blow, But at least I’m not a Picasso. Body image, body image, go variety! Body image, body image - seems okay to me. Is it just that what we’re not we wanna be? Present imperfect is not enough When it comes to rivalry – Ah, is it rivalry? Oh, body image, body image, go variety! Body image, body image - seems okay to me. Body image, body image, go variety! Body image, body image - seems okay to me. But I’m fatter than I’d like to be.
7.
HATE 03:24
Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. There’s nothing so denying as denial, Ignoring the issues that lurk underneath, Nothing so sadistic as a welcoming smile And a dirty great boot in the teeth. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Practising your indiff’rence, Opening old wounds to get them to bleed, I’ve got to feel how it felt to you When somebody else did the deed. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Good job I see you, Good job I know you, Don’t have to scream or to shout, No no no no. Look, you might see It’s not really me that you hate – You just can’t let it out. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me. Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you hate me, Oh, how you really hate me.
8.
You say you love me? Open up your ears. Listen, if you can, before it ends in tears. Think that what you’re doin’ is quite okay? This may come as a surprise to you – I got something to say. Colours are fine and the taste is sweet, Ev’ry kind of filling that you could eat – Peel off the wrapper for a chocolate treat! Well, there’s a problem in your shop – I’m not, I’m not, and I never, ever will be (never, no), Not, I’m not in a million, billion years, Not, I’m not, you’ll never, ever smoothie me, Oh, I’m not your lemon drop. Sherbert dips, liquorice sticks, Get your kicks in the pick and mix. You got style, pretty face? Tell you the truth, you’re a real sad case. Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire, Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire. Tragedy, it’s such a shame, I’ve got a mind and I’ve got a brain. Being an unwrapped sweet was never my aim. There’s a problem in your shop - I’m not, I’m not, and I never, ever will be (never, no), Not, I’m not in a million, billion years, Not, I’m not, you’ll never, ever smoothie me, Oh, I’m not your lemon drop. Think you’re such a sure-fire bet - Grown-up toddler, playing hard to get. When you were two maybe you were fun But you’re the pits at forty-one. Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire, Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire. Purple foil makes your eyes pop out. Big lolly, little lolly, sing and shout. People are what it’s all about. There’s a problem in your shop – I’m not, I’m not, and I never, ever will be (never, no), Not, I’m not in a million, billion years, Not, I’m not, you’ll never, ever smoothie me, Oh, I’m not your lemon drop. You say you love me? Open up your ears. Listen, if you can, before it ends in tears. Better face the problem that you’ve got. This may come as a surprise to you - You won’t be sucking your lemon drop. Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire, Liar, liar, pants on fire Out to get what you desire. Jaw-breakers, toothachers, pacemakers, undertakers, Jaw-breakers, toothachers, pacemakers, undertakers, Ahh.
9.
C'MON, C'MON 03:30
C’mon, c’mon, I know she’s gone away, You’ll be okay. C’mon, c’mon, I know she’s gone, It won’t be long – You’ll find a new way. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Put aside your doubt. Does an in have an out? Did Henry the Eighth have gout? Do the Beatles sing Twist and Shout for you? Trust me, I know it’s true. C’mon, c’mon, I’m not wrong – Your style Doesn’t walk the green mile. C’mon, c’mon, Sing your song, Sad for a while But you’re gonna smile. Trust me, There’s not a lot of trust to spare – Go for savoir-faire. Did Daniel dare? Do nostrils flare? Does the night produce the mare that leads to day? There’ll be a better way. C’mon, c’mon, I know she’s gone away, It’ll be okay. C’mon, c’mon, I know she’s gone, It won’t be long – Before you find your new day. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Put aside your doubt. Does an in have an out? Did Henry the Eighth have gout? Do the Beatles sing Twist and Shout for you? Trust me, you know it’s true.
10.
BOWING DOWN 04:36
Don’t have to have your holidays in Spain, Go here, go there and back again, Don’t have to wear the most expensive Label you can to be a good man. Don’t have to have the most perfect face, Body to match, not a hair out of place, Best education, cultivation and tan To be an excellent woman. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To his particular false god, Bowing down. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To her particular false god, Bowing down. Don’t have to be the biggest noise on the board Or give three times what you can afford, Trying hard to impress. Takes an Alternative plan to be a good man. Is your home a barrier zone With a padlock on the fridge and the phone? Who do you please? Takes an alternative plan To be an excellent woman. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To his particular false god, Bowing down. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To her particular false god, Bowing down. See your picture in the pool and drown – Bowing down. Don’t have to have your holidays in Spain, Go here, go there and back again, Don’t have to wear the most expensive Label you can to be a good man. Don’t have to have the most perfect face, Body to match, not a hair out of place, Best education, cultivation and tan To be an excellent woman. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To his particular false god, Bowing down. Every kinda snob Is busy bowing down To her particular false god, Bowing down. See your picture in the pool and drown, Bowing down, bowing down, Bowing down, bowing down.
11.
BULLIES 03:38
Bullies in the band, Bullies at the bar, Bullies on the road, Bullies in the car. Bullies in the back room, Bullies at the front, Bullies who are eloquent, Bullies who grunt. Uhhh. You don’t know we know you, Pity you don’t know, we know you now. Pity you don’t know we know you, Pity you don’t know the sorry show You’re putting on. Bullies with a smile, Bullies with a frown, Bullies in the country, Bullies in the town, Bullies in the palacies, Bullies on the street, I got two legs And I vote with my feet. I got two legs And I vote with my feet. Ah, bully bullies, bully, bullies, Ah, bully, bullies, bully, bullies. Bullies who are white, Bullies who are black, Bullies who are tight, Bullies who are slack, Bullies in the west and Bullies in the east, Bullies who are homeless, Bullies who feast. You don’t know we know you, Pity you don’t know, we know you now. Pity you don’t know we know you, Pity you don’t know the sorry show You’re putting on. Bullies who are gay, Bullies who are straight, Bullies who are widescreen. Bullies with no weight, Bullies eating lentils, Bullies eating meat, I got two legs And I vote with my feet. I got two legs And I vote with my feet. Don’t give me your denials, Can’t put your spin on me. Can’t use your ranks and files Because I’ve got two eyes And I see what I see. I got two good eyes And I see what I see. Bullies in the police force, Bullies in the jails, Bullies in the kitchen, Bullies banging nails, Bullies in the office, Bullies in the church, Leather or in lace, well, You don’t have to search far for – Ah, bully, bullies, bully, bullies, Ah, bully, bullies, bully, bullies. You can’t see what we see, Pity you can’t see we see you now. Pity you can’t see what we see – Your blind, self-righteous Insecurity. Bullies, bullies, bullies, We see you now. Oh, bullies, bullies, bullies, We see you now.
12.
Outset, removal and exit, Exodus, decampment and flight, Farewell and adieu, I’ll skedaddle, Absquatulate, I’m outa sight. Oh, outset, removal and exit, Exodus, decampment and flight, Farewell and adieu, I’ll skedaddle, Absquatulate, I’m outa sight. I’ll sally forth, I’m buzzin’ off, Taking my leave, going down, Anchors aweigh, vamoosing today, I’m outward bound. Outset, removal and exit, Exodus, decampment and flight, Farewell and adieu, I’ll skedaddle, Absquatulate, I’m outa sight. Oh, outset, removal and exit, Exodus, decampment and flight, Farewell and adieu, I’ll skedaddle, Absquatulate, I’m outa sight. And so, au revoir, it’s auf wiedersehen, A-rivederci, to sea! Bon voyage, hasta la vista, It’s the last you’ll be seeing of me.

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released December 31, 2016

All credits: Barbara Hills ©

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Barbara Delarbre Wales, UK

I am from the UK and (depending on mood) I'm a drawing, an animation or a puppet! I kid you not. I am the alter-ego of a DIY Indie Instrumental girl–do the whole bang shoot of writing, playing and production. So I've only got myself to blame! You might catch me on bright, moonlit nights, dancing over the mountains twirling my pink umbrella! ... more

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